How to Set and Measure Personal Development Goals

Potential means nothing if you don’t do anything with it AnonymousThere are many paths to personal growth. Friedrich Nietzsche is quoted as saying, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger,” and this can absolutely be true. But challenges that nearly destroy us aren’t the only path to greater personal development.

Setting goals for your own personal development can be an effective (and less stressful) way to grow emotionally and intellectually. Setting goals that can help you to succeed as a person in the ways that are important to you can help you to streamline your life, minimize stress, and really become the person you were meant to be in far less time. They can also help you to stay mentally sharp as any lifetime learner can tell you.

Goals Worth Going After

Personal growth means different things to different people, but the following goals can be widely helpful in creating a life filled with healthy habits, greater happiness, and meaning in life.

Learn What Is Most Important to You

We all have values that are a vital part of who we are. To some people, artistic expression is an indispensable part of who they are, and they fare much better if they are creating, at least some of the time, in their lives. To some, helping others is something they must do, and the meaning it brings to them and others is what makes life valuable. Others need to be solving problems to feel alive.

The reason it matters to realize this is that many people fill their time with things that are important but aren’t aligned with their values, with what they value most in life. If you analyze what is important to you, you can set goals to ensure that you make this a greater part of your life.

Pinpoint Where You’re Limiting Yourself

Many people self-sabotage in one way or another without realizing it. Perhaps you don’t believe that you’re capable of achieving things that you really want to achieve, and you limit yourself by not trying. Perhaps you’re not allowing yourself to devote enough time to your goals because you’re getting bogged down by other things in your schedule that are less important but that you feel “must” be done. Maybe you just spend too much time on social media and not enough on going after what’s important to you in life.

When your health is compromised, it’s more challenging to focus on your goals in life. This is obviously true when facing serious health conditions, but it’s also true of less serious types of health compromises.

For example, most of us feel far more stressed and are not at our best when we haven’t had adequate sleep for a few nights in a row or have eaten unhealthy food for a few days. Focusing on taking care of your health can make a huge impact on the rest of your life.

Use Your Time Wisely
Time management is an important goal in itself. When you manage your time wisely, you have more energy and a far greater ability to pursue other things in life that are important to you. Time management enables you to maximize time spent in activities that feed you, motivate you, and help you develop yourself as a person.

Develop One Habit a Month
You may not be able to transform yourself in a few weeks, but focusing heavily on creating new habits on a regular basis can be transformative over the course of several months or years. The trick is to get into the habit of forming habits. Focus the bulk of your energy on making something new a standard part of your life, and then move on once you’ve become comfortable with it. This is the time to create a new habit.

Surround Yourself With Role Models
Have just one friend who is farther along on the path you hope to travel. Life coaches refer to these people as “expert friends” and they can be life-changing as they’ll have tips and inspiration you can pick up just by watching them be themselves. With these friends, watching becomes doing. This is also supported by social learning theory, which explains how it makes things easier when you have a friend to help you along the way.

Develop a Supportive Group
Using the momentum of a group can really help you to reach your goals. This is because peer pressure can be a strong influencer, so using it to your advantage is wise. Having people who can cheer you on when you win and help you to feel better when you lose can make all the difference with your success.

Unfortunately, not all friends are able to support you in this way. Some people naturally feel envious when their friends succeed too much. So, if you notice a friend being less than supportive when you reach a goal (and you have been supportive of them), you may want to simply avoid sharing your successes with this friend and move on to friends who are genuinely thrilled with your success and able to support you when you aren’t as successful as you’d like to be.

Remember to be this kind of friend as well. Another great idea is to find a group already focused around the goals you’re trying to attain. You’ll have built-in support, enthusiasm, and practical tips.

Learn Something New Each Month (or Year)

Self-development takes real focus. Learning a new language, for example, or developing a new skill can take time, and focusing the bulk of your energy toward immersing yourself in the pursuit of a goal is a great way to reach it. This is great when you want to really go deep into your knowledge and ability.

Follow Your Passion

You don’t have to pursue your hobbies as a career in order to fully explore them. It’s wonderful if you can make money doing what you love, but it doesn’t have to be a profession to be worth your time. Activities like this allow you to experience a sense of “flow,” which can increase your happiness levels and decrease stress as well. This means that you’ll experience benefits far beyond the mere acquisition of a new pastime.

How to Maintain Goals

Identifying goals to go after is an important first step. However, it’s also important to know how to pursue your goals. There are a few tricks to maintaining goals or adopting healthy habits.

  1. Set the right goals
  2. Take small, concrete steps
  3. Reward yourself along the way
  4. Consider slip-ups to be part of the process
Maintaining goals can be a little more involved than that, but this is the basic process. The vast majority of people who try to set personal growth goals tend to abandon them because they set their goals too high (or the wrong goals for their lifestyle), try to make too big of a change in too short of a time, don’t congratulate themselves for making progress on their goals, and give up if they have a slip. True success comes from breaking your goals down into smaller steps, rewarding your progress and, perhaps most importantly, trying again if you find yourself slipping up.

Setting personal goals that can really improve your life, and then sticking with them can help you to live the life you always hoped to have.

Today’s article was written by Elizabeth Scott, MS and is shared from the following website: https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-set-and-measure-personal-development-goals-4161305

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You Can Do More Than You Think

There is no man living who isn’t capable of doing more than he thinks he can do Henry Ford

“If you’re going to doubt something, doubt your own limits.” -Don Ward

There’s a Saturday Night Live sketch that features Kenan Thompson as a middle school student with a broken knee. Scarlett Johansson and his other classmates repeatedly convince him to attempt walking, quoting a teacher who frequently lectures on the power of positive thinking. Despite their promises that anything is possible, he repeatedly falls flat on his face.

I loved this sketch, not because of some schadenfreude-induced need to see children crying. I love it because it reminds me of the many times I’ve seen comments on blog posts about possibilities, where people cite things that are obviously not possible.

While we can do a lot in life, running on a leg that you just broke is not (currently) medically possible. Flapping your arms and flying like a bird is just not possible. Turning your horse into a unicorn is just not possible. And switching bodies with your best friend, though commonly seen in movies, is just not possible.

Now that we got that out of the way, we can focus on the many difficult things that are, in fact, possible, despite what people once thought.

It is possible to run a 4-minute mile. It is possible to fly a heavier-than-air plane. It is possible for a person to walk on the moon. It is possible to perform a full-face transplant. It is possible for an African American man to become the President of the United States.

People do “impossible” things every day. If we believe in ourselves and take smart risks, we can, too.

You might not be able to leave your job tomorrow, but you can discover your passion and start a business. You may not be able to win a Webby Award tomorrow, but you can create a site that makes a difference in the world. You might not be able to change that you have a physical limitation, but you can find a way to empower yourself because of it, not in spite of it.

Today if you find yourself dwelling on what’s possible, remind yourself: You can do more than you think if you’re willing to stop making excuses and start testing your limits.

Today’s article was written by Lori Deschene. Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha and Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and live a life you love. Today’s article was shared from the following website: https://tinybuddha.com/quotes/tiny-wisdom-you-can-do-more-than-you-think/

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Be Faithful in Small Things – Wednesday

Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies Mother Teresa

If there’s one piece of advice that I could offer any aspiring creative, it’s this. Develop a habit of consistently doing something. It doesn’t matter what it is, how small or how big it is.

  • It can be as simple as going for a walk or meditating for 2 minutes.
  • It can be as hardcore as writing 1000 words a day or going for a 5-mile run.

The power of consistency is profound and underrated. It can help you overcome a lack of natural talent, and allow you to focus on the process instead of the prize.

If you can learn to do something consistently, you’ll tap into a much greater superpower than the habit itself: the belief that you’re completely capable of changing your behavior.

Once you’re capable of changing your behavior, you’ll be capable of making massive changes because little things done repeatedly lead to big changes in our lives.

1. Inconsistency Squanders Your Creative Potential

There are few things that will kill your confidence and your ability to succeed in a creative career or any creative endeavor for that matter, like inconsistency. I’ve seen incredibly talented people amount to a fraction of what they’re capable of solely because they are so inconsistent with what they do. They start something new frequently, but never actually finish anything.

A few years ago a friend of mine who is a highly paid corporate employee told me about his plans to start a business. He already had clients lined up waiting to actually pay him. In the years since, he mentioned this business to me. He’s spent a year attempting to design a website, setup an email address and design a business card. Given his salary, he could have easily hired someone to do this. The only thing he hasn’t done is start the business.

On the flip side, I have a friend who was in high school band with me. His first two entrepreneurial ventures failed miserably. So he got a job at a startup. The startup hired a full-time life coach to motivate and inspire employees. He told the coach that he wanted to help small businesses with data and analytics. He had no clients waiting to pay him. He contacted me and asked if he could show us what he had in mind using our podcast download data. 24 hours after we gave him access, he delivered an in-depth detailed dashboard. I was blown away by it. When I called him, he simply said: “I don’t fool around.”

So what’s the difference between these two friends of mine? The second one is in the habit of consistently trying even if it means failing a few times. It’s almost impossible for people to take you seriously if you’re inconsistent.

On the flip side, the pattern I’ve noticed over and over in people who have successful creative careers is consistency.

If you create media, the sustained attention of an audience requires consistency. Think about your favorite TV shows. If they aired on different times and days every month, you’d never form the habit of watching the show. If you want to benefit from exercise or learn a new skill it requires consistency.

  • By the time Ryan Holiday submits a manuscript for one book, he’s usually submitted a proposal and sold the next one. Consistency has enabled him to write 3 books in 3 years.
  • Seth Godin has published a blog post every day for more than 10 years. The results of his consistency speak for themselves.
  • We release new episodes of the Unmistakable Creative every Monday and Wednesday and we have for more than 5 years. Barring a natural disaster, World War 3, or my death, there’s always an episode.

Doing a little consistently is always going to be more effective than doing a lot inconsistently. And this holds true across any positive behavior or goal we’re attempting to achieve.

Now let’s talk about why consistency is so powerful.

1. Consistency Creates Momentum

If you ask me how to write a book, it’s simple but not easy. Write a little bit every day. It doesn’t matter if it’s bad or good. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the mood, feeling inspired or having a bad day. What matters ultimately is that you’re in the habit of showing up and trying.

Momentum is based on the idea that an object in motion stays in motion.

  • This is why it’s more effective to write 200 words every day than it is to write 1000 words once a week
  • This is why we’re better off practicing an instrument for 15 minutes every day than we are an hour once a week.

When we’re consistent with anything that we do, we stay in motion. When we stay in motion we gather momentum, which is the lifeblood of any startup or creative endeavor.

2. Consistency Increases Your Willpower

I eat the same breakfast every single day: bulletproof coffee, eggs, and bacon. I do this because the first three hours of my day are the most valuable to me. I don’t want to waste my willpower figuring out what I want to eat for breakfast. Whether it’s eating the same breakfast, a daily ritual or keystone habit, having something that you do every single day actually reduces decision fatigue and increases your willpower.

3. Consistency Helps Turn Habits into a Part of Your Identity

I never have to put “write 1000 words” down on my to-do list or calendar, even though I do make it a point to block out writing time each morning. Because I’ve done it so much, it’s a part of my identity. This is what James Clear refers to as identity-based habit formation. Whatever you’re doing goes from being an item on your to-do list to a part of who you are.

4. Consistency Amplifies Skill Level

When I surf or snowboard for multiple days in a row, my skill level appears to increase almost exponentially. By the last day I’m taking risks that I wouldn’t have taken before, making waves I would have missed, and flying down parts of the mountain that I would have hesitated on just a few days prior. When we do something consistently, the process of myelination occurs.

“When we go through some struggle to learn a new instrument, learn a new language, learn a new behavior, we then forge a new neural pathway. The more we work on that new behavior and move through discomfort, the myelination process occurs. Think about an electrical wire that has a coating on it. Myelin takes that new behavior and neural pathway and takes it from dial-up to broadband”- Christine Comaford

The result is a significant increase in your skill level. With consistency, we move from a place of conscious incompetence to unconscious competence.

5. The Myth of Superhuman Discipline

One of the misperceptions we have about people who write about productivity and habits is that they have super human discipline. But this is far from true. As my friend Ben Austin says, we tend to write about these things precisely because we struggle with them. The truth is that almost nobody has superhuman discipline. Despite how much I value deep work and getting work done, there are days when I screw up and waste my day checking email, facebook, and twitter. The discipline to do something on a consistent basis is a learned skill. It’s a lifelong work in progress that that requires constant iteration and experimentation.

Many of the bloggers that started their blogs when I did are no longer around. Some of them had a great deal of natural writing talent. The reason they’re not around or relevant anymore is simple: They were inconsistent with their efforts and never finished what they started. If there’s anything I attribute to my most significant creative accomplishments, it’s a pattern of consistency.

Look back on hundreds of interviews I’ve conducted, and countless conversations, if there’s one thing that sets apart peak performers from everyone else, it’s consistency.

If you want to change your life, start by changing your behavior, and make the new behavior something you follow through on consistently.

Today’s article is shared from the following website: https://medium.com/the-mission/the-profound-power-of-consistency-3f1a361bb8fd

 

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The Two Saplings – A Story About How to Maximise Personal Growth

Even the tallest mountain is conquered one step at a time

An eight-year-old boy went to his grandfather and proudly announced, “I am going to be very successful when I grow up.  Can you give me any tips on how to get there?”

The grandfather nodded, and without saying a word, took the boy by the hand and walked him to a nearby plant nursery.

There, the two of them chose and purchased two small saplings.

They returned home and planted one of them in the back yard.

The other sapling was placed in a pot and kept indoors.

“Which one do you think will be the most successful in the future?” asked the grandfather.

The boy thought for a moment and said, “The indoor tree.  It’s protected and safe while the outdoor one has to cope with the elements.”

The grandfather shrugged his shoulders and said, “We’ll see.”

The grandfather carefully tended to both plants and in a few years, the boy, now a teenager came to visit again.

“You never really answered my question from when I was a young boy.  How can I become successful when I grow up?”  he asked.

The old man showed the teenager the indoor tree and then took him outside to have a look at the towering tree outside.

“Which one is greater?” the grandfather asked.

“The outside one.  But that doesn’t make sense, it has to cope with many more challenges than the inside one.”

The grandfather smiled, “Yes, but the risk of dealing with challenges is worth it as it has the freedom to spread its roots wider and its leaves towards the heavens.  Boy, remember this and you be successful in whatever you do; If you choose the safe option all of your life you will never grow and be all that you can be, but if you are willing to face the world head-on with all of its dangers and challenges, the sky’s the limit.”

The young man looked up at the tall tree, took a deep breath and nodded his head, knowing that his wise grandfather was right.

The same is true for all of us.

If you choose the safe, well-worn path, then a life of mediocrity awaits.

But if you have the courage and capacity to live in the elements, you give yourself a great chance of reaching your full potential and being successful in your chosen field of endeavour.

God created trees to grow outside.

He created people to live lives of significance.

So let me ask you, are you an indoor tree or an outdoor one?

Today’s story was shared by Darren Poke and is shared from the following website: https://betterlifecoachingblog.com/2013/03/08/the-two-saplings-a-story-about-how-to-maximise-personal-growth/

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Change Only Happens From The Inside Out

If you’re searching for the key to success, look inside yourself Unknown

“I think I’m done with therapy!” I told my therapist, outpouring my pent-up frustration. “It seems that all this talking and introspection is useless. Four years of continuous work and I’m still unsatisfied and constantly disappointed!”

And so I kept on rambling. “What’s the point of it all? I’m finally married to someone I love, after getting out of an unhappy marriage. I shifted to a career that I’m actually passionate about. I moved to another country, particularly to a paradisiacal city which most people would be thrilled to even just visit. I dropped over 25 pounds and feel very comfortable (even proud!) with my physical appearance. I’ve even discovered new hobbies that have shown me a different way of living. And all for what?”

There was a minute of silence. And then my therapist, after having told me so a million times before, once again calmly said: “Remember that: Change happens from the inside out. Not the other way around.”

Oh how I hated that she was right! I had managed to radically change my outside world completely, yet I still felt the same. Everything around me looked so different and so similar at the same time. Because even though my external world had changed, I had not.

It seems that despite my therapist’s words of wisdom, all along I chose to believe that if I created that perfect life I had always dreamed of I would finally be who I wanted to be.

So I spent all my energy and effort in changing everything about my circumstances that did not make me happy. Much needed changes that I don’t regret. But that time showed me were not enough for a true transformation.

As much as I wanted it to, changing the outside did not change the inside.

You can move to the other side of the world. Start a relationship with the partner of your dreams. Or even accomplish the professional goals you desire the most. But what I learned is that: Wherever you go, whoever you’re with, or whatever you do, you take yourself with you. 

And if despite your choices, you still remain the same person you were before, your life won’t be much different.

Only real personal change, the change that comes from within, can turn your life around.

So here are 6 tips to keep in mind during this journey toward personal transformation:

1. Nothing ever changes, until you do. If you have external circumstances that are making you unhappy, by all means change them. Change them in an intelligent and unwavering way. But keep in mind, that whatever role you are playing in that unhappiness will continue, unless you change too.

2. If you want true change, face yourself. There’s no running or hiding. You have to look at your biggest fears straight in the eye. You have to dig deep into your old hurts and wounds.  And you have to challenge your self-limiting beliefs and toxic ways of thinking.

3. Believe you can change, then persevere. Don’t hope you can change. Believe that you will. The right mindset is critical for this mission. Because defying your lifetime habits will not be easy. It will feel like swimming against the tide. And it’ll be your faith and determination what will give you the courage to carry on.

4. Watch out for your unconscious along the way. Challenging yourself will feel so threatening that you may rely on defense mechanisms such as denial to avoid facing your reality. This will “protect” you from the anxiety of confronting some ugly truths about yourself. But will only delay, or even sabotage, your road to transformation.

5. Avoid a real self vs. ideal self war. Fighting against your (not-so-desirable) actual self is not only pointless, but steals away the energy you need to transform into your ideal self. That person you aspire to be. The more you fight who you are now the harder it’ll be to let go of it. You need to accept yourself just as you are so you can then start working towards transforming into that person worthy of your admiration.

6. Take it day-by-day. Step-by-step. Transformational change is created through daily individual actions. There’s no milestone to be reached. Because it is a process that lasts a lifetime. All you can do is take a step every day to get closer to the person you wish to be. And every now and then, stop to reflect on who you are today, and compare it with who you were yesterday.

We can all undergo a process of personal transformation or “metamorphosis” (as I like to call it), if we’re willing to let go of who we are to become who we truly want to be. And just like the caterpillar completely rearranges its form to emerge into something so beautiful, we too can emerge from our cocoon to transform into the best version of our unique wonderful self.

It is not the beauty of the butterfly what makes it so remarkable. It’s the changes it has gone through to achieve such beauty.

Today’s article was written by Jessica Beltran, MS and is shared from the following website: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/thrive/2014/10/change-only-happens-from-the-inside-out/

 

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