Change Only Happens From The Inside Out

If you’re searching for the key to success, look inside yourself Unknown

“I think I’m done with therapy!” I told my therapist, outpouring my pent-up frustration. “It seems that all this talking and introspection is useless. Four years of continuous work and I’m still unsatisfied and constantly disappointed!”

And so I kept on rambling. “What’s the point of it all? I’m finally married to someone I love, after getting out of an unhappy marriage. I shifted to a career that I’m actually passionate about. I moved to another country, particularly to a paradisiacal city which most people would be thrilled to even just visit. I dropped over 25 pounds and feel very comfortable (even proud!) with my physical appearance. I’ve even discovered new hobbies that have shown me a different way of living. And all for what?”

There was a minute of silence. And then my therapist, after having told me so a million times before, once again calmly said: “Remember that: Change happens from the inside out. Not the other way around.”

Oh how I hated that she was right! I had managed to radically change my outside world completely, yet I still felt the same. Everything around me looked so different and so similar at the same time. Because even though my external world had changed, I had not.

It seems that despite my therapist’s words of wisdom, all along I chose to believe that if I created that perfect life I had always dreamed of I would finally be who I wanted to be.

So I spent all my energy and effort in changing everything about my circumstances that did not make me happy. Much needed changes that I don’t regret. But that time showed me were not enough for a true transformation.

As much as I wanted it to, changing the outside did not change the inside.

You can move to the other side of the world. Start a relationship with the partner of your dreams. Or even accomplish the professional goals you desire the most. But what I learned is that: Wherever you go, whoever you’re with, or whatever you do, you take yourself with you. 

And if despite your choices, you still remain the same person you were before, your life won’t be much different.

Only real personal change, the change that comes from within, can turn your life around.

So here are 6 tips to keep in mind during this journey toward personal transformation:

1. Nothing ever changes, until you do. If you have external circumstances that are making you unhappy, by all means change them. Change them in an intelligent and unwavering way. But keep in mind, that whatever role you are playing in that unhappiness will continue, unless you change too.

2. If you want true change, face yourself. There’s no running or hiding. You have to look at your biggest fears straight in the eye. You have to dig deep into your old hurts and wounds.  And you have to challenge your self-limiting beliefs and toxic ways of thinking.

3. Believe you can change, then persevere. Don’t hope you can change. Believe that you will. The right mindset is critical for this mission. Because defying your lifetime habits will not be easy. It will feel like swimming against the tide. And it’ll be your faith and determination what will give you the courage to carry on.

4. Watch out for your unconscious along the way. Challenging yourself will feel so threatening that you may rely on defense mechanisms such as denial to avoid facing your reality. This will “protect” you from the anxiety of confronting some ugly truths about yourself. But will only delay, or even sabotage, your road to transformation.

5. Avoid a real self vs. ideal self war. Fighting against your (not-so-desirable) actual self is not only pointless, but steals away the energy you need to transform into your ideal self. That person you aspire to be. The more you fight who you are now the harder it’ll be to let go of it. You need to accept yourself just as you are so you can then start working towards transforming into that person worthy of your admiration.

6. Take it day-by-day. Step-by-step. Transformational change is created through daily individual actions. There’s no milestone to be reached. Because it is a process that lasts a lifetime. All you can do is take a step every day to get closer to the person you wish to be. And every now and then, stop to reflect on who you are today, and compare it with who you were yesterday.

We can all undergo a process of personal transformation or “metamorphosis” (as I like to call it), if we’re willing to let go of who we are to become who we truly want to be. And just like the caterpillar completely rearranges its form to emerge into something so beautiful, we too can emerge from our cocoon to transform into the best version of our unique wonderful self.

It is not the beauty of the butterfly what makes it so remarkable. It’s the changes it has gone through to achieve such beauty.

Today’s article was written by Jessica Beltran, MS and is shared from the following website: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/thrive/2014/10/change-only-happens-from-the-inside-out/

 

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6 Steps to Change Your Life

Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out

It Only Takes 6 Steps to Change Your Life

Don’t get stuck in the same old average routine. Here’s how to start the domino effect of change.

Hope is the foundational principle for all change. People change because they have hope, and if people do not have hope, they will not change. You are responsible for the changes that you make in your life.

The good news? You can change your life if you really want to. You can improve it, make it better. And it all starts with changing the way you think. So are you ready? I am going to walk you through a six-step plan for achieving positive change.

Here’s how you give yourself a little hope:

Step 1: When you change your thinking, you change your beliefs.

Change begins with the mind. Beliefs are nothing more than a byproduct of what you have thought about long enough, something that you have bought into—always remember that. What you believe, what you think, is just a collection of continual thoughts that have formed themselves into a conviction. When you break down the process of thinking into a manageable number of steps, you reduce the perceived risk associated with change.

Step 2: When you change your beliefs, you change your expectations.

Belief is the knowledge that we can do something. It is the inner feeling that what we undertake, we can accomplish. For the most part, all of us have the ability to look at something and know whether we can do it. So in belief there is power… our eyes are opened, our opportunities become plain, our visions become realities. Our beliefs control everything we do. If we believe we can or we believe we cannot, we are correct.

Step 3: When you change your expectations, you change your attitude.

Your expectations are going to determine your attitude. Most people get used to average; they get used to second best. Nelson Boswell said, “The first and most important step toward success is the expectation that we can succeed.”

Step 4: When you change your attitude, you change your behavior.

When our attitude begins to change, when we become involved with something, our behavior begins to change. The reason that we have to make personal changes is that we cannot take our people on a trip that we have not made.

Step 5: When you change your behavior, you change your performance.

Most people would rather live with old problems than new solutions. We would rather be comfortable than correct; we would rather stay in a routine than make changes. Even when we know that the changes are going to be better for us, we often don’t make them because we feel uncomfortable or awkward about making that kind of a change. Until we get courage and get used to living with something that is not comfortable, we cannot get any better.

Step 6: When you change your performance, you change your life.

It is easier to turn failure into success than an excuse into a possibility. A person can fail, turn around and understand their failure to make it a success. But I want to tell you, a person who makes excuses for everything will never truly succeed. Don’t you know some people who just have an excuse for everything? Why they could not, should not, did not, would not, have not, will not. I promise you, when you excuse what you are doing and excuse where you are, and you allow the exceptions, you fail to reach your potential. It is impossible to turn excuses into possibilities.

Today’s article was written by John C. Maxwell and is shared from the following website: https://www.success.com/article/john-c-maxwell-it-only-takes-6-steps-to-change-your-life

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Want to Make Positive Changes in the World?

Everyone thinks of changing the world... but no one thinks of changing himself Leo Tolstoy

Change Yourself and Not The World

Long ago, people lived happily under the rule of a king. The people of the kingdom were very happy as they led a very prosperous life with an abundance of wealth and no misfortunes.

Once, the king decided to go visiting places of historical importance and pilgrim centres at distant places. He decided to travel by foot to interact with his people. People of distant places were very happy to have a conversation with their king. They were proud that their king had a kind heart.

After several weeks of travel, the king returned to the palace. He was quite happy that he had visited many pilgrim centres and witnessed his people leading a prosperous life. However, he had one regret.

He had intolerable pain in his feet as it was his first trip by foot covering a long distance. He complained to his ministers that the roads weren’t comfortable and that they were very stony. He could not tolerate the pain. He said that he was very much worried about the people who had to walk along those roads as it would be painful for them too!

Considering all this, he ordered his servants to cover the roads in the whole country with leather so that the people of his kingdom can walk comfortably.

The king’s ministers were stunned to hear his order as it would mean that thousands of cows would have to be slaughtered in order to get sufficient quantity of leather. And it would cost a huge amount of money also.

Finally, a wise man from the ministry came to the king and said that he had another idea. The king asked what the alternative was. The minister said, “Instead of covering the roads with leather, why don’t you just have a piece of leather cut in appropriate shape to cover your feet?”

The king was very much surprised by his suggestion and applauded the wisdom of the minister. He ordered a pair of leather shoes for himself and requested all his countrymen also to wear shoes.

Moral: Instead of trying to change the world, we should try to change ourselves.

Today’s inspiring article is shared from the following website: http://www.kidsworldfun.com/shortstories_dontchangetheworld.php

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Changing Your Life…It is Always Possible!

To change your life, you need to change your priorities John C. Maxwell

Oh how I wish that I could take you with me and that we could visit heaven for just five minutes together! Just five minutes there and you would get what I want with all of my heart for you to know.

We talk of God being perfect but it is impossible to explain or even comprehend what perfect is as a mortal being. Understanding God’s perfection is as much an experience as it is an understanding. As I met with God during my near-death experience, I could feel His perfection and sense His utter and complete “wholeness”. We are talking here about a being who is without gap, crack, or lack in His intelligence, comprehension, and capacity.

That very same being who is whole and complete and utterly perfect is your Father and my Father and He is completely aware of you and He understands, in its entirety, your level of knowledge, wisdom and capacity. He wants nothing more than for you to realize your potential and for you to understand your worth. He is not attempting to produce clones of His children. Instead, He works diligently to help us, as we allow Him, to become the unique and special individual we were each designed to be.

He knows we are not perfect. He knows our mistakes. He never NEVER gives up on us. He loves us perfectly and completely in spite of our failings and flaws.

If you are as hard on yourself as I suspect you are, I hope that you will reach out to your Creator today. Ask Him to please communicate your worth to you in a way that you can accept and understand. I know He will answer your prayer if you make that request.

There may be no greater tragedy in this world than that of an individual believing that they are of no worth or nothing special or that they cannot be forgiven.

We each are wonderful and special and are meant to bring a positive contribution to this world that we have been made a part of. I hope you will allow God to speak to your heart today – I hope today’s story will inspire you as well!

Value

A popular speaker started off a seminar by holding up a $20 bill. A crowd of 200 had gathered to hear him speak. He asked, “Who would like this $20 bill?”

200 hands went up.

He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.” He crumpled the bill up.

He then asked, “Who still wants it?”

All 200 hands were still raised.

“Well,” he replied, “What if I do this?” Then he dropped the bill on the ground and stomped on it with his shoes.

He picked it up, and showed it to the crowd. The bill was all crumpled and dirty.

“Now who still wants it?”

All the hands still went up.

“My friends, I have just showed you a very important lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, life crumples us and grinds us into the dirt. We make bad decisions or deal with poor circumstances. We feel worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special – Don’t ever forget it!

Value story shared from the following website: http://www.livin3.com/5-motivational-and-inspiring-short stories#5%20Motivational%20and%20Inspiring%20Short%20Stories%20About%20Life,%20Stories%20that%20Will%20Make%20You%20Smile.

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Goals Are Like Magnets…

Goals are like magnets...They’ll attract the things that make them come true. Tony Robbins

Do you have Goals? Or, do you just let each day happen without much thought about it? We all have the personal power to consistently improve. Goals give us the destination that we are aiming for.

We may not know all the steps that reaching a goal is going to require but when we set the mark (goal) and then plan what it will take to make that goal become a reality, we set in place the momentum that will get us there. Often, it is a good idea to use a mind map to get an idea of the goals we want to reach and then work backwards.

For example, let’s say I want to have a training facility for swimmers but I don’t even know how to swim yet (and I want to be able to swim the swimmers at the training facility). I could guesstimate that it will take me 10 years to create the training facility. At 8 years  I think I will have the funds necessary and will need to start planning the construction. At 6 years I think I will need to start working on investors and getting information on swimming pool construction and the kind of building that will best house a wet, swimming pool environment. At 4 years I plan to join swimming organizations, become familiar with other swim organizations – creating a swimming network, organize a corporation for my venture and start making friends in the swimming world. At 2 years I plan to competing in swim events and further learn about the world of swimming. Then, from now until then, I realize I need to find a line of work that will enable me to have the flexibility I need to accomplish the goals that I will need to accomplish in order to build the swimming facility. I will also need to start taking swim lessons and dedicate time and effort to develop my swimming talents.

I don’t really want to build a training facility, but if I did, I would need to have a map charted with goals and intentions that would enable me to accomplish my goal.

Dreams are never accomplished if we do nothing but dream. Goals give dreams the opportunity to manifest themselves!

I hope you will recognize the Personal Power you have been blessed with, listen to your heart, and create the goals that will allow you to accomplish the dream of your heart!

In that light, I hope you enjoy today’s story!:

One day a son came to his father for an advice:
– Dad, I can’t do this anymore, – he said, – those lessons only exhaust me, and the result doesn’t change. It must be not destined for me to play football and my dream will never come true.
The father looked at his son with loving eyes and said:
– You know son, every person in life has a dream, a goal of his life. They are the ones that make us do what we are doing, because it’s what we should do. We have to fight for what we believe in, what we feel. In other case, you will simply brake. Once – and for all.

The easiest way is to quit everything and not go until the end, because the path is difficult and we are not used to inconveniences. We want everything to be easy and at once. But the wishes are fleeting! This is how our dream dies, and the goal becomes unreachable.

Gradually, life becomes a routine without depth and meaning. Then one day, we try to forget and start everything from the beginning, we wait for a new day to make our life different. But new obstacles come in our way, and we stop again. We become full of despair and anger for our own helplessness.

But you only need to remember one thing: never give up, fight, battle. It doesn’t matter that you have lost one battle and even dozens of battles. Life goes on! Your biggest enemies are hiding in you – laziness, fear, doubt, indecision. Be a warrior of your dream, a knight of your goal and a soldier of your wishes!

Story shared from the following website: http://www.inspirationalstories.eu/stories/stories-about-reaching-goals/

 

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